The Only Difference between Martyrdom and Suicide
by Jaz-chan
Summary: L has always had a 'thing' for Misa-Misa and he also has a greater 'thing' for defeating his rival, Light Yagami, which is his potential solution to his KIRA search... What if he decided to attack Kira from the bottom up...? Starting at his heart? .
1. Chapter 1

**The Only Difference between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage**

**Romance/Angst**

**Chapter Completion Date: Saturday, March 29, 2008**

**MisaxL/Ryuzaki**

**Author's Note- This is a minor experiment to see if I could write (umm.. what is it called..?) oh! Lemon! That's the word!(I think..) Tell me if it's good, so I could stop doubting myself! I am so very (umm..) inexperienced in the sex department but I have watched so many romances that I should at least get the feeling and situations correct. Heh... Well enjoy! And hopefully it will be about as good, or maybe better, than ****Carpal Tunnel of Love****...Luv ya! Bye!**

Misa moaned softly, "L!" As she felt the last of her dignity slipping out from beneath her. The feeling of his fingertips dancing along her warm tanned skin remained in her thoughts as she turned around and got off of the detective. Then she drifted into a deep conversation within herself to... herself.

"What did I just do?"

"Oh yea, Misa, you just slept with your boyfriends' best friend." She responded tastelessly. But the thing is that semi-sweet remarks wouldn't help you cope with feelings of extreme guilt. Knowing that she just ruined her relationship with the man of her dreams, Light Yagami, she started to silently cry.

"What is it? What's wrong?" ,L asked sympathetically.

Misa yelled between sobs of self-rage and guilt., "It's your entire fault!" L was puzzled at first, then realized what Amane was talking about.

"Oh, you are confused about how Yagami-kun would take this situation if he found out about it."

Misa gasped slightly and knew that L, a man of genius, could realize any problem quickly.

"Yes. I-I don't know if Light would ever take me back if he found out.." She continued crying.

"I don't think he would particularly care." L said, now sitting at the edge of the bed, hunched over in his usual fetal position, legs bent close to his chest, using his arms to prevent his possible fall, while wearing his white boxer-briefs. He got up from the bed to turn the radio off as he muttered under his breath, "He doesn't really love you anyway. . ."

"What?"

"He doesn't love you." He said as he picked up a can of whipped cream. He put a little bit of the sticky substance on his long, bony pointer finger as he said, "Light-" Licks off some whipped cream, "doesn't quite love you as much as you, undoubtedly, love him." Misa glared at L and pouted at him. "You two are fully compatible, I truly believe so. Nevertheless, he still doesn't love you to his full extent ignoring your obvious signs of affection." ,L contemplated as he picked up a strawberry that was sitting on the table next to the whipped cream can and ate it, "Thus confines me to question his faithfulness to you and, with his apparent leniency to infidelity. . ."

Normally, Misa would secretly swoon to L's usage of his intelligence and large vocabulary but, in this case, she hated hearing him use his arsenal of large flashy words to use out of favor of Yagami-kun.

"Shut up! Yagami-kun would never cheat on me!" She shook her head in a 'no' motion shaking her tears out of her eyes, quite dramatically, as she continued, "He loves me and I love him and we shall stay together! Till _death_ do us part!"

"_Death_ you say? . . .You two weren't married last time I checked." (L realized his comeback would have been more effective if he wasn't talking with his mouth full of strawberries. . .)Misa blushed because she knew that she wasn't married to Light, but she wanted to be.

"Well I feel you beg to differ. . . He has been talking to me about meeting up with a couple of other girls lately. . . You should call his cell phone to check up on him."

Misa doesn't respond as she goes rummages through her purse to retrieve her ruby colored cell phone.

**End of chapter one**


	2. Prolouge

_**Do You Know What I'm seeing?**_

_**The Prologue to:**_

_**The Only Difference between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage**_

**Romance/Angst**

**Chapter Completion Date:**

**Misa x L/Ryuzaki**

**Author's note: Yes... Well... Hello there every one out there in the world... I rarely come up with story ideas this quickly so... I hope it ends up as well as I hoped it would... O yea if n/e 1 was wondering, this isn't supposed to fit in at any point in time in the DN world…Well... Luv Ya! Bye!**

_****_

L has always had a 'thing' for Misa-Misa and he also has a greater 'thing' for defeating his rival, Light Yagami, which is his potential solution to his KIRA search... What if he decided to attack Kira from the bottom up...? Starting at his heart?

L devised his idea from his post at his laptop in the dark room, which was empty except for Matsuda Touta, Misa Amane, and Light Yagami. Hunched over, legs bent, he continued thinking as he ate a doughnut.

"Misa..."

"Yes Ryuzaki?"

"Meet me in the back room." He said with no explanation as he got up, grabbed a single piece of strawberry cheesecake, and walked over to the back room. Misa looked over at Light questionably, wondering what L wanted. Light responded her question with a nod of the head and a 'go-on' motion with his hand like she was a child. Misa walked over to the back room of the Hotel HQ.

The back room was shadowy and dark. It was lit with a single lamp; it was an ordinary lamp, with no shade on its top. Amane was driven crazy with the womanly notion of going to the store and buying a new, better-looking lamp shade that would make the empty room a bit cozier. She had to ignore the notion to listen to the question that Ryuzaki was preparing to ask her.

"Misa, do you find me attractive?"

Misa gave L a look like, 'what the hell?', but when she made the face, she could tell that L was dead serious. She has never known L for lying, unless it came down to his true name, otherwise, Misa classified him as a pretty straight-forward person.

"Misa, you have no need to be afraid, this room has no cameras anywhere," His knuckles tapped the wall. ", and no one could hear us because of the soundproof walls." Misa looked around the room, he was right. She couldn't see any spy equipment anywhere. "I really need to have your true opinion on this."

(Misa's thought process is in italics…)

_Misa inspected the detective (lol Jaz-chan made a funny!) realizing his every trait. He slouched while he walked, he ate way too many sweets, which will make him fat, he held stuff weird, like he has a potential germ-phobia, which is stupid, he sits with his feet in his chair, uses lame excuses, he's a annoying smart-aleck, and, worst of all, he suspects Light and Misa of being mass murderers.. But, she kind of admires him, being right about everything, down to the last detail. Although it gets on her nerves sometimes, him calling her dumb in his 'in-between-the-lines-of-his speech' as Yagami-kun puts it, predicting every basic aspect of the way the Death Note works, even the fact it could be passed on from person to person. Other than that he's kind of cute. I an L kind of way, if that's possible. Now she thinks of it… A big brain is pretty hot… _

"You're okay, I guess." She said blankly, not knowing what she was saying.

"_**Really**__?_" L said in disbelief. "I expected that you would yell at me telling me that 'Light was the greatest person in the whole world' or something like that."

Misa looked away, considering what L had said.

"I do love Light-kun, with all of my heart. He just doesn't seem to notice though."

"Then why do you even bother?" L asked Misa with a childish curiosity, which was only enhanced for the worst when Misa looked up at his big dark eyes which were filled with interest.

"I don't know. I just love him, I guess."

"I heard that there is no 'I guess' with love, it's only yes or no."

Misa looked away from L. Amazed by his wisdom, and angered by his use of it to be a smart aleck. L is the most confusing man ever.

"Well, this was out of the ordinary. Can you meet me later at 8:30 in this same room so I shall converse with you again?"

Misa turned her back to leave the room.

"This _was_ interesting. It was nice speaking with you Amane-chan."

Later that day at 8:30pm

_So, I'm back in the dim room. _Misa thought, looking around the familiar room noticing a chair that wasn't there before. You know how in the dark room you could feel the presence of something that wasn't there before like a person or some one watching you or it could just be like a feeling. Like, when you're with your best friend, or when you feel a fuzzy feeling like you feel in your gut when you read a hallmark card before you hurl… Yeah, that weird feeling.

"Hello Misa." L said. She saw him walk into the room with a miniature cake; it was a caramel cake to be exact, if you wanted to know. "You're early."

Misa said nothing. Light told her that if this _was_ a scheme that she would say as little as possible so she couldn't give away the fact that she is Kira.

"Would you like to sit down?" L gestured to a spot next to him on the medium sized recliner. Misa nodded and took the seat next to him. "You are acting unusually bashful today… What's on your mind?" L asked, staring straight in Misa's face.

"…Nothing…"

"If you are worrying about Light, there is a slim chance that he would be able to hear us… Don't forget that there are absolutely no surveillance cameras in this room, Misa, You can express yourself freely in here with out risking your reputation."

_It seems like L is unusually watchful about my feelings today… _Misa thought.

"Okay. What do you want to ask me now?" Misa asked, feeling kind of bitchy about the situation she was presently in, stuck in a room sitting uncomfortably close to a guy she didn't favor very much in particular.

"You have really nice hair," L commented stroking her blonde hair and lifting a strand of it with two fingers. "How do you keep it so… Perfect?" Misa blushed slightly at the compliment and didn't say anything. "Amane Misa-Misa-chan..? That's what people address you as? That would get annoying to me…" L takes a bite of his mini-cake.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU NEED TO TELL ME?? YOU ARE GETTING ON MY LAST NERVE!" Misa didn't realize she raised her voice when she saw the expression on L's face change for totally amazed to calm and aloof like usual.

"Sorry for pressuring you Misa. I have realized that my emotions have gotten the best of my actions. Will you forgive me?"

"Yeah, I'll forgive you, Ryuzaki."

"Well, Misa. I just called you down here to ask you something…"

"What is it, more random, strange questions?"

L laughed a bit, "Yeah, I believe so, Misa, I'm going to ask you some strange questions!", and smiled.

"Yeah okay then." Misa went along with L's sudden playfulness, which was unusual even for him. _He must have something on his mind, acting silly out of the blue like this…_

"What's your favorite color?"

"Pink." Misa said without thought.

"What do you like to do in your spare time?"

Misa thought for a bit, then answered plainly with, "I like to surf the net."

"Oh, alright then, ask me something."

Misa thought for a minute. "What do you like to do?"

"Capture criminals." He responded and took another bite out of his caramel cake.

_This is going to be dumb… His brain is melded around the Kira case._

"What do you think about when you're not thinking of the Kira case or capturing Kira or stuff like that?"

"You." He mumbled with his finger over his mouth, so Misa couldn't hear.

"What did you say Ryuzaki?"

"Whenever I'm not working on the Kira case I am always thinking about you." He said clearly.

"What do you mean Ryuzaki? You think I'm Kira, of course you think of me. You **have** to think of me," Misa scoffed with disbelief. "I'm a part of your case."

"That's not what I meant."

Misa moved away from L in the seat a bit while her suspicion of him being a stalker rose back into her brain. But, despite her obvious budge away from him, he leaned in closer as he continued his statement.

"I want you, Misa. I always wanted you." L dove in and kissed her. Misa gasped, making it easier for him to ease his tongue into her mouth, tasting every aspect of her being. He rubbed his tongue around her mouth, trying to find hers. After some time of fighting him off, Misa finally submitted to L's deep kiss. After a minute of unforgiving bliss, Misa broke off L's daring kiss, leaving him with his tongue sticking out of his mouth. (I think he must look childish at that point.) Misa wiped off her mouth with her arm and looked down at L with a look of disgust and got up to walk out of the door.

"Misa wait!" L said and rose from the chair. Misa didn't even bother to turn around to look at him. She stayed put at her spot near the door to listen to what he had to say.

"Thank you for showing me you had a mind of your own Amane. This minor act of infidelity showed that your mind doesn't belong to Yagami-kun. Meet me in my room tomorrow I have something else to tell you."

**End of chapter one**


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